‘For in every adult there resides the child that was, and in every child there lies the adult that will be.’ John Connolly
Within each adult is the memory of the child we once were, and still are to some level, as we all have a child aspect within us. Carl Jung called it the ‘divine child’, Emmet Fox called it the ‘wonder child’, some psychotherapists call it the ‘true self’, and prominent psychiatrist Eric Byrne referred to it as ‘the child within’.
Stored within our bodies are the memories of our childhood experiences. For some, these may be happy memories or even a mixture of happy and sad, but for others, their childhood memories may be too painful to recall so they keep them suppressed.
The inner child is the part of us that knows all our secrets. It knows our fears and insecurities, where we hold our pain and suffering. It knows the stories behind our wounds and our deep-rooted scars. Unfortunately, for some, this inner child aspect is buried deep within the subconscious—it’s lost to the fear of the past or overwhelmed by the projected worries of the future.
Healing The Past
When our inner child is locked into some painful past experience and unable to let it go for whatever reason, i.e. not knowing how to let go, or maybe they’re unable to forgive, this keeps our energy stuck in the past continually reliving the painful experience over and over in our subconscious mind.
Some of us are still acting out the pain experienced as a child, and our inner child may be reflecting this into our relationships today. It’s, therefore, vital that revisit our painful childhood wounds and bring healing light into the darkness. Doing so helps us release our feelings, heal our emotions, and free our minds so we may be able to find peace with the past, freeing us up to be more present in the now.
It’s helpful to remember that the inner child is also the part of us that is ‘the enchanted child’, ‘the innocent’, ‘the pure’ part of us that loves unconditionally and that is willing to forgive so that we may know great joy in life. Within each person is held the memory of that pure inner child aspect. When we reconnect with this pure part of us, we can begin to understand ourselves on a much deeper level, and that’s when true healing and transformation can occur.
The more we understand these aspects of ourselves, the easier it will be to identify some of the reasons for our adult fears, phobias and life patterns. Embracing our inner child enables them to feel heard. It’s this validation that gives them the freedom to forgive and let go of the past. As they forgive and let go, we get to move on in life.
When working with our inner child, it’s helpful to remember that they may be shy, nervous, anxious etc. and may need some reassurance from us that it’s okay to come forward. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to forgive and let go.
Affirmations are a great way of opening communication with our inner child and mirror work is a fantastic way of deepening the connections, especially if we hold a soft gaze as we look into the eyes of our inner child. Our tone of voice is also important. A soft kind tone will be soothing to our inner child. It’s believed that we can make our voice sound more pleasant by smiling.
Inner child work is one of the easiest ways to heal the past. It’s worth noting here that our energy vibration will impact significantly on our ability to connect with our inner child. If we’re stressed and tense, our inner child will sense this and may feel overwhelmed by our emotions. If on the other hand, our energy is of a lighter vibration, then our inner child will be more willing to connect.
Exercise #1 – Stepping Into Your Light
This simple exercise helps you bypass your ego and raise your energy vibration.
- Take your awareness to your heart centre and imagine a beautiful stream of light within
- Imagine yourself stepping into this light, into your purer, higher vibration in light
- Get a sense of how safe and secure you feel in this inner light
- From this heart centred place of pure light set the intention that you’re holding a safe, pure space for your inner child.
This is the perfect energy through which to build a healing relationship with your inner child.
- Start by looking at yourself in the mirror
- Set the intention that you’re looking into the eyes of your inner child
- Holding a gentle, soft gaze, speak self-affirming statements direct to your inner child. Statements such as ‘I see you, and I acknowledge you’, ‘I’m pleased that you’re me’, ‘I’m so proud of you’, ‘I love you’
Mirror work is an excellent way of deepening your inner child connection. The use of imagery works well too. Imagery differs from visualisation. With visualisation, you see, but with imagery, you use all your senses. You may wish to imagine yourself reaching your hand out to this inner child aspect. How does it feel to do this? What do you see? What do you hear? Is there an associated smell or taste? How do they look? How do they respond or react? How does it feel to connect with this aspect of you?
Exercise #2 – Healing
When you’re ready, you could take your healing one step further.
- From your beautiful stream of light within, reach your hand up to your higher self aspect and ask for a beautiful ball of healing light
- Hand this ball of healing light to your inner child as a gift
- Suggest they place it anywhere in their body where there’s stress or tension and to set the intention that they transmute it in light
- Watch with wonderment as your inner child heals in light
Symbols and metaphors are the languages of the subconscious mind, it helps if we’re creative and imaginative. The brain believes whatever it sees and doesn’t know the difference between real or pretend. The subconscious mind does whatever we tell it to do and it’s always ready to oblige, we just need to guide it. So, why not tap into our body’s natural workings and direct our subconscious mind to heal and release in light – it really does work.
It’s worth remembering that we are dealing with our inner child aspect, so if it turns up wearing a ‘fairy crown’ or a ‘super-man cape’ we just need to embrace it in all its glory.
As with any relationship, it takes time to learn how to relate to this inner aspect of ourselves, we need to work at gaining their trust. As we give ourselves lots of love and healing light, this is when the magic really starts to happen and we begin to flourish.